Reflections and Fragments

I’m going to be a bad, greedy kid today. How? Why?

Well, my school is giving us free steak dinners in the cafeterias between 4:30 and 7pm. They assume you’ll just go once, but this is not the case for me teehee.

I went in exactly at 4:30, got my delicious steak and sides to go with it, and left around 4:55. My plan is to go back, but to the other cafeteria, at 6:15 and get another meal. I don’t even care if they have steak left. I just want the free food because it is too good, in my opinion. I don’t believe the cooks in the cafeteria made any of the food. 

So ya. It’s one of those days where I’m going to indulge in free food from school and not care about how much I intake. 

I didn’t even do much besides go to my two classes, eat, and chat with folks. The one stressful event of the weekend has been settled between my future roomies and I. I’ve learned more about others in the process, which has led me to feel better about myself in ways (not to be conceited/arrogant), such as:

• I can see both sides to an argument, stay neutral in most cases, and not raise my voice at others
• The world is not simply black and white, and I’m glad that I can see that, while some people unfortunately cannot
• Not coming from a well-off family is actually nice because I know that not having to pay an extra $100 a month for a bill can make a big difference 
• I really do love people, forgive easily, and probably “defend” some people too much or unnecessarily (or maybe I’m just not quick to blame someone or become completely angry with them. I analyze the situation and try to understand their actions or whatnot).

This is why I want to be a psychologist. The human mind fascinates me. Also, I sometimes don’t understand how I became friends with certain people. Not in the bad way, but in the whole “we are so different, have very few things in common, and probably would’ve never been friends in high school or if we were never classmates last year” type of way. Everything is so weird.

Other things from today:

• It was our last class for Creative Writing. I’m going to miss everyone from class. We were a good bunch. Christian played his guitar and sang a song he’s been working on; hopefully he’ll record it soon because it’s good. My last poem actually received nice comments besides saying it was “good” or “not bad” lol. At least five of us will be in Creative Writing II in the fall.
• Listened to the new Sean Bones album coming out on the 8th. Me gusta. 
• Craving sushi. Two days until twloha’s final bonding night at the local sushi place! Excitement.
• An East Hazel Tango. “Last Night’s Fantasy, Today’s Trend”. Google that shit and feel nostalgic. Or don’t feel nostalgic because you didn’t know this band because I’m sure most people didn’t know them.
• I miss the south ‘burbs. I miss Chicago. I miss my hood. I miss my crew. 
• La Dispute and All Get Out in six days. Oh yes.
• In need of a baking party with the crew.  
• Met Jessica’s (former VP of our twloha chapter) boyfriend Saturday, and he has decided to call me “Dimples”, and they need to get married. I hope he finds a job in Texas so he can be closer to her now because they’re adorbs, just sayin’. 
• I want Mexican food.
• I have done not an ounce of homework today.
• At least I updated my resume, woot!
• Ice cream sounds nice right about now.
• I love seeing happy couples. I just want everyone to get married and invite me so I can cry while sitting somewhere in the first few rows. 
• While still in my nostalgic mood earlier, I remembered Brack Cantrell’s cover of  ”Brand New Colony” and found it on youtube because my copy of the song died with my old hard drive. It’s such a good cover. I don’t even know what he’s doing now since I know he’s definitely not a part of the touring band for Analog Rebellion anymore.
• Listened to Kid Cudi today, and I was happy camper. Summer nostalgia.
• Can’t go to Columbia’s Manifest this year because it’s a week earlier than usual. Kids These Days are going to be performing this year too. I’ve been wanting to see them so badly for months, but they’re supposed to be coming to school in the fall, so no worries. 
• Tat tat tat it up, oh. Tat tat tat it up. Now stop, oh, and wiggle with it, yeah. (Don’t ask)
• Counseling conference next Friday, as well as an interview with Planned Parenthood for an internship. Oh my.
• Omg, just remembered I get a free steak dinner tomorrow, courtesy of the school. I will try to be first in line, if possible. 
• Donuts sound really good right now too.

That’s all I have to say right now. Possibly a pointless post, but whatevs. Enjoy reading for anyone who actually decides to.

Had an interview with the school paper today. It went well, thankfully. I have to write a review on the Girl Talk concert that’s tomorrow and email it to them by Friday, which is very doable. Hopefully I get the position for the fall!

A random realization- Lamorne Morris, who plays Winston on “The New Girl”, was totally in Spitalfield’s video for “Gold Dust vs. State of Illinois”. I knew he looked familiar.

Also, I’m praying for Korea. North Korea threatened South Korea, so hopefully they don’t make a successful missile. I know you’re mad your missile burst into pieces and all, but don’t threaten my South Korean brothers and sisters. Back off, yo.

Hopefully I get this internship over the summer too. Otherwise, hello part-time job.

…has been so-so, mainly on the shitty side, but I’m optimistic as usual. It’s not even because I have a ton of schoolwork, thankfully, but it’s everything else, which I think makes it slightly worse. I hate having a ton of work to do for school, but that can be taken care of by simply slapping myself and getting it done. This week was more of outside/future stuff overwhelming me. I need some type of job/internship this summer, and trying to fill out all of these apps and writing cover letters and waiting for phone calls is stressing out a sista. I’m pretty sure I’ve had multiple anxiety/panic attacks this week, which aren’t fun, but they happen. I need to start writing my first blog for the Leila Grace Foundation too, which may work out even better after I observe/volunteer at the Center for Prevention of Abuse next week. I still don’t get enough sleep, and I haven’t been eating much because of my stress level. I think I’m just highly irritable because I’m pms-ing (sorry if that’s tmi for some of you out there) and certain people are pissing me off. I’m not a mean person, so I am not good at telling these people off or whatnot. I should just be blunt since everyone is not capable of reading others’ emotions or reading between the lines, but I still can’t bring myself to do that. Whatever. Eventually these people will understand. Hopefully I won’t have to be “mean” about it. I also found out that a fellow student here passed away a few days ago. I don’t know how to feel about it since the school didn’t inform us about it like they did when a baseball player died last semester. Athletic privilege? Or did this girl’s family request that the school not inform students? I mean, she was an art student, so the art kids are gonna know. She was in my 2D class last semester, so she’s not just some random face on campus to me, and this saddens me.

I’m going to go outside to breathe for awhile.

Good things that did happen this week (or will happen):

• He didn’t get enough votes for student body president.
• Lolla line-up
• the times I have eaten
• Buying La Dispute tickets today. Fuck yes, less than a month.
• Buying Girl Talk tickets tomorrow
• He’s happy, and I’m honestly happy for him
• I’ve got good friends here, good people
• I love hearing from my friends from back home randomly
• painting with watercolors, which I plan to do more
• laughing with my creative writing peeps before class
• having positive dreams (as in those movies that play in your head at night)
• watching that Total Behavior video
• talking about drugs in Starbucks while the cops were not too far away 
• suggesting that a guy sell his copy of Saw 3D to the record store so he could feed his family. I didn’t actually have money on me, and I also don’t really like the Saw movies, but I gave him an honest suggestion for getting $5.
• It’s been sunny
• The meme someone made about the guy who didn’t win the presidency at my school. The amount of back and forth personal attacks that started is stupid yet humorous. The guy never gave his input on the whole thing or commented on the thread, so it’s just been going on forever on Facebook. This is college politics. 
• Life is not horrible.

A shift is starting, and once the school year ends, that shift is going to be even more present. Looking forward to change.

Alright, I’m leaving mi dormitorio again, not that I’ve been here that long in the first place. Ciao.

I’m pretty excited for tomorrow. A few friends and I will be having “Family Dinner” tomorrow night since we couldn’t go home for Easter, our families couldn’t come to us, or we just don’t understand the point of Easter because we’re not religious (only one friend actually lol). It’s going to be a sweet night. 

Also, I have not done any homework yet this weekend. I’ll just wake up early and work on that… Until then, I’m going to go wash my hair, paint something really quick, then go to sleep. I may be meeting Mariah at Starbucks tomorrow if she doesn’t have to work or whatnot, which would be awesome because we haven’t really talked in a few weeks. Busy lives. 

Off to my duties. Ciao.

Bonding night with TWLOHA tonight. Excitement.

Must write a poem on a piece of music for creative writing. I wonder if I can get away with using Sigur Ros’ “Saeglopur”… I’m going to try anyway.

Editing photos from Cali finally. One day, I’ll be able to invest in a better camera. If it didn’t cost so much to develop film now, this wouldn’t be a problem for me…

Going to attempt to make a mega map of cities I plan to visit at some point in my life. Road trips? Or maybe I’ll just get a map of the USA and circle/highlight all of the cities. But making a map might be more fun…

Write out the random stuff needed for this scholarship.

Continue to apply for jobs/internships. 

Possibly wearing a skirt/dress tomorrow because I believe I’m out of clean jeans, and I’ve already re-worn them plenty of times. I realize that it’s going to be chilly for most of tomorrow, but my options are limited when I have no time to do laundry.

Also, I need to eavesdrop on three different conversations between people for creative writing as well. We’ll see how that goes.

More random stuff or important stuff. Blah blah blah.

I just saw the comments one of the girls from my creative writing class made on my story, and I wanted to cringe at my errors. Many of the issues came from not reading the story straight through after making edits in certain places. Some dialogue parts needed to be rewritten, but of course I didn’t pay attention to that. Also, this story should’ve just been in present tense. I want to edit it right now, but I need to read the version I sent to everyone in class tomorrow. Why is this life? I know, I know, this isn’t the worst thing in the world. Being in this class makes me even more self-conscious about what I write because I know others will be reading it, and I become nervous. I will be slightly embarrassed in class when I read it, but whatevs. ‘Tis life.